Sunday, May 24, 2009
The Political Bong
Well, re-starting this blog deserves a special topic. And what better topic than the doodh-bhaat(staple food) of Bong culture- Politics.
You have been hanging around flirting with your cousin’s friend when Jethu vacates his seat in front of the television, and decides to grace the conversation with his presence. After thundering “Ekta cha dao to”(Give me a cup of tea) in the direction of the kitchen, he proceeds to sit down in the centre of the assembled. Proceeding to take out a Classic from his pocket and lighting it, he will puff out a few breaths, (en-bhai-ronment, bujhli!!) filling the surroundings with a bluish haze. He will then turn to you with a smirk lurking in the corners of his mouth. “Bujhle bhaya, deshta ebar uchchonne galo!!!”(Brother, the country is going to the dogs!!!)
A prophet-like smile, good enough to put Moses to shame, will follow this statement. In the mean time, being the bhalo chele that you are, you are expected to nod your head like a cow trying to get rid of a fly stuck in its ear. A couple of sighs should be thrown in at the right moments for added effect.
What follows, surprisingly, is not a leftist propaganda. No Sir, for the modern Bangali Bhadrolok, blind admiration of the CPM is passé. So, jethu’s speech will be peppered with a couple of “Shala Buddho-ta je ki korche…”(What the hell is that bastard Buddh‘o’deb doing?) and “Goonda, goonda, CPM-er shob shala goonda…” (The whole of CPM is full of hoodlums!!!). However, being the staunch leftist at heart that he is, he will soon viciously tear into all forms and faces of politics, left, right and center and give his final verdicts on them…
How students’ politics is just another excuse for some baje chele s to cause trouble…
How trade unions are bad, and full of troublemakers, but necessary to look at the interests of the traders anyways…
How the Congress is full of hypocrites and the BJP is full of ‘janowar’ s(animals)…
How Mamata Banerjee is a hooligan and a Messiah at the same time…
And of course a heated debate on Sonia Gandhi’s nationality…
By this time, jethi will make her entry with the cha. A couple of sips later, a refreshed jethu will delve into the fresher pastures of International Politics…
A couple of sympathetic comments about Benazir Bhutto(‘dekhte bhalo chilo-re mohila ke’(she was good looking)) later, the world’s biggest USA baiters after the Cubans will be at work…demolishing Bush(‘ota to ekta khuni’(he’s a bloody murderer)), and criticizing Obama(‘parbe ki…’(can he…))…
It is about this time that you are expected to make an exit, if you know what is good for you. For the topic shall metamorphose into one involving the ‘American Society’. And you will be dissected from head-to-toe, from your T-shirt(which reads ‘FCUK’) to your torn shorts, as an example of percolating decadence.
But it is at about this time that the PYT that you were talking to earlier will excuse herself from the conversation. And you will just follow her on the pretext of showing her the way out.
The neighborhood Bhalo Chele who’s rumored to be very interested in her will give you a weird look, which you’ll steadily ignore.
But then, this is getting into a whole new type of politics…
Whatt?? It said posted by arnab hazra on the main page who cleverly transformed into soumyadeep ghosh when it came to appreciating it....bah! typical bong!! nonetheless...a ",a khoob bhalo post....and i can be pretty sure it is arnab who would flirt with the neighbourhood lass and not the prude-soumyadeep. Kip op d gud wark...
This is so true dude!!!
so true...
really nice :) and u seem to know pretty well where to make the exit!
why do all bong guys consider themselves to be "bhalo chheles"??
@Binit: dude ... don't blame me I'm not the one that designed the template...
@Mak: :)
@Nils: The exit is just as important as the entry ...
@Surabhi: aaah ... the eternal question .. :P
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You have been hanging around flirting with your cousin’s friend when Jethu vacates his seat in front of the television, and decides to grace the conversation with his presence. After thundering “Ekta cha dao to”(Give me a cup of tea) in the direction of the kitchen, he proceeds to sit down in the centre of the assembled. Proceeding to take out a Classic from his pocket and lighting it, he will puff out a few breaths, (en-bhai-ronment, bujhli!!) filling the surroundings with a bluish haze. He will then turn to you with a smirk lurking in the corners of his mouth. “Bujhle bhaya, deshta ebar uchchonne galo!!!”(Brother, the country is going to the dogs!!!)
A prophet-like smile, good enough to put Moses to shame, will follow this statement. In the mean time, being the bhalo chele that you are, you are expected to nod your head like a cow trying to get rid of a fly stuck in its ear. A couple of sighs should be thrown in at the right moments for added effect.
What follows, surprisingly, is not a leftist propaganda. No Sir, for the modern Bangali Bhadrolok, blind admiration of the CPM is passé. So, jethu’s speech will be peppered with a couple of “Shala Buddho-ta je ki korche…”(What the hell is that bastard Buddh‘o’deb doing?) and “Goonda, goonda, CPM-er shob shala goonda…” (The whole of CPM is full of hoodlums!!!). However, being the staunch leftist at heart that he is, he will soon viciously tear into all forms and faces of politics, left, right and center and give his final verdicts on them…
How students’ politics is just another excuse for some baje chele s to cause trouble…
How trade unions are bad, and full of troublemakers, but necessary to look at the interests of the traders anyways…
How the Congress is full of hypocrites and the BJP is full of ‘janowar’ s(animals)…
How Mamata Banerjee is a hooligan and a Messiah at the same time…
And of course a heated debate on Sonia Gandhi’s nationality…
By this time, jethi will make her entry with the cha. A couple of sips later, a refreshed jethu will delve into the fresher pastures of International Politics…
A couple of sympathetic comments about Benazir Bhutto(‘dekhte bhalo chilo-re mohila ke’(she was good looking)) later, the world’s biggest USA baiters after the Cubans will be at work…demolishing Bush(‘ota to ekta khuni’(he’s a bloody murderer)), and criticizing Obama(‘parbe ki…’(can he…))…
It is about this time that you are expected to make an exit, if you know what is good for you. For the topic shall metamorphose into one involving the ‘American Society’. And you will be dissected from head-to-toe, from your T-shirt(which reads ‘FCUK’) to your torn shorts, as an example of percolating decadence.
But it is at about this time that the PYT that you were talking to earlier will excuse herself from the conversation. And you will just follow her on the pretext of showing her the way out.
The neighborhood Bhalo Chele who’s rumored to be very interested in her will give you a weird look, which you’ll steadily ignore.
But then, this is getting into a whole new type of politics…
Whatt?? It said posted by arnab hazra on the main page who cleverly transformed into soumyadeep ghosh when it came to appreciating it....bah! typical bong!! nonetheless...a ",a khoob bhalo post....and i can be pretty sure it is arnab who would flirt with the neighbourhood lass and not the prude-soumyadeep. Kip op d gud wark...
This is so true dude!!!
so true...
really nice :) and u seem to know pretty well where to make the exit!
why do all bong guys consider themselves to be "bhalo chheles"??
@Binit: dude ... don't blame me I'm not the one that designed the template...
@Mak: :)
@Nils: The exit is just as important as the entry ...
@Surabhi: aaah ... the eternal question .. :P
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